


Make Me Feel Like I'm The One

by MotleyMoose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Regret, crude language, tiniest bit of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 06:15:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9371840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotleyMoose/pseuds/MotleyMoose
Summary: Dean reflects on the regrets he has about Y/N.





	

The road is long and lonely.

Dean knew that from an early age, watching his dad pack up and head out to hunt Big Bads in whatever podunk town they happened to be in. It was a rough life, but Dean learned how to make do.

And now that he was older... the longer he and Sam were out on a hunt, the farther they went down the road... all he could think about was getting out, finding a new normal.

It wasn't like he hadn't wanted to settle down when he was younger; he did. That year he had with Lisa and Ben was pure bliss, and sometimes... sometimes he'd catch himself thinking back to that time, wondering what could have been.

Which is why he didn't find it at all surprising when he met Y/N and things just sorta... clicked.

She called him her Ramblin' Man, and Dean didn't mind... hell, he actually kinda liked it. It made him feel liked he belonged to her, like he was the only one. It wasn't true, he knew Y/N had other lovers, just as she knew this wasn't the only bed he parked his boots under.

But they could pretend, at least for a little while.

It never failed, whenever he crossed the border from Oklahoma into Arkansas, Dean would call and Y/N would open her door to him.

He still had a job to do, that much was for certain. No rest for those trying to prevent another goddamned Apocalypse. It was understood between the two of them that this... relationship... thing they had going wasn't permanent. It was a mutual agreement based on the responsibilities of his job and the uncertainty of his return. And the fact that Y/N wasn't going to put her life on hold waiting for Dean to retire... or never return... just made their time together a little less... complicated.

Even though the visits were few and far between, Dean enjoyed playing house. And he wished that, one day, he'd be able to settle down for good this time, and maybe... just maybe... Y/N would feel the same way.

The banality of his daydreams wasn't lost on him. Hell, that was one of the reasons he enjoyed chick flicks so much; the peace he could find in a happily-ever-after seemed even sweeter than apple pie.

But, he is what he is, and the loneliness of the road is despairing.

Through every backwater town he would drive, with every friendly waitress he would meet, Dean felt a tightening in his chest. The pang of knowing he couldn't keep this up, couldn't continue on this path to certain death, knowing that he could have that quiet piece of normalcy, would drive him into the welcoming arms of a willing companion. It would fill the emptiness for a short time, covering over the isolation and sadness that would engulf him otherwise. That feeling of contentment and safety never lasted long, not like when he was with Y/N, but he could force the warmth and happiness for one night.

Really, it shouldn't have surprised him that, after all those months he'd been away hunting, she'd be gone. Dean never thought it would have happened so quickly, that Y/N would have found someone that she loved deeply enough to settle down with in such a short period of time. She always joked she wasn't the marrying kind... but he guessed people changed, or, at least, that's what he liked to believe.

It hurt him knowing that it was entirely his fault for not being able to give up the family business. Sam and Castiel had become a pretty good team in the past year, and with Mary being back, he didn't necessarily need to be on the frontline. Hindsight's 20/20, and well... Dean couldn't blame Y/N in the least for finding something better when he himself was unwilling to commit anything.

Sure, drinking his problems away wasn't the greatest idea, seeing as how the hangovers were becoming more and more of a bitch to handle in the morning, but it helped... a little. Forgetting the happiness they could have had and all of the wonderful times they'd shared just made it all the easier to find comfort in someone else's arms for the night. And when he would look into a willing companion's eyes, he couldn't help but feel like he was the one.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Hey Darlin' by Louden Swain


End file.
